(by Emily Petrou)

Outbound

Inbound

In and Out

Home and Away from home.

Its scary, 3 month old shine

And the comfort of repetition

Who to see and what to do

What do you do when in and out are the same

Home is two places

Nothing alike

But effortlessly linked

Like nature’s woven rite of passage

Rays that make eyes twitch in discomfort 

Tickle exposed jacketless skin

Overpacked winter clothes in half-emptied luggage

Grannies’ houses to visit and high school friends to reminisce with

A time traveler of sorts 

Until you feel a polite raindrop cloud eyeglasses

They have obviously seen enough

Transported

To a storm of newness 

Where no one knows you

And everyone seems like a black hole of possibility

You run constantly 

After the 381 bus, after

Dreams so big they feel crushed by their own weight

So hostile

there’s nothing more yours than this.

For the first time: it does not fucking matter who you are 

because you shape this 

one step

one test

one smile

one word at a time

It dawns on you

This realization wraps you close like a blanket of sun

Excuse me while I find comfort in this

My own piece of home.

The home you can never return to 

Because no one told me that when you have two homes

None of them seem home enough

A legal alien of solitude.

Until you book another over priced flight

Buy a window into how things used to be

Fill your brain with fuzzy nostalgia 

to last you until your next time back

Back where?

Out or in?

Home or … home?

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