Written by Kiara Tay
Every day, I wake up dehydrated and sad.
I roam through the halls with the agility
of an old cat
I stomp past voracious gossip and laughter
with footsteps loud enough to rival nuclear disasters
I slip through unannounced through the kitchen doors;
(no need to turn on the lights)
And drool at the intercontinental selection
prepared for me that night
The fridge is almost full to the brim with boxes of treasure,
each a hidden mystery waiting to earn my pleasure
But I won’t settle (No!) for any day-old struggle meal
so I rummage through my options till I find one that appeals.
When my belly is full and my spirits augment,
I think about the best way to unleash my daily torment
Just for good measure, I turn the induction stove up high
And the smoke drifts before me like all my younger dreams gone by
I hear the beep beep beep and the ensuing groans
And fast fingers typing on agitated phones
I leave the kitchen just to see students in pyjamas and distress,
and can’t help but congratulate myself on my success.
And that’s the end of the evil Bankside ghost rhyme
Making your lives worse one day at a time
But wait-at the end of the night,
when I look at the mirror and sigh,
I think to myself: perhaps we’re not so different, hm, you and I?
Caption: As an ex-Banksider who’s lived the highs and lows of Bankside, I have often been inconvenienced by many people who I do not know and will never be able to identify. In particular, my main complaints are people stomping in the hallways at night, food stealing, and the incessant fire alarms. Rather than my petty complaints, I thought it would be more interesting to think of a vengeful Bankside ghost roaming the halls constructing little inconveniences the residents to cheer itself up.
