Written by Anisha Shinde
Illustrated by Jessica Chan
I have lived in London for over a year now and have yet to see a single ghost. I have, however, opened my banking app the morning after a night out, and I’m not sure anything supernatural could compete with that.
Halloween is the one time of year we’re supposed to be purposefully frightened, but most of what actually stresses me out is far less cinematic. So here is my list, in no particular order, of the things I’d pick a haunted house over.
1. The bank balance after a night out
I always hold my phone arms length from my face when I open the app, like that’s going to soften whatever number comes up. I’ve usually tried to do the maths in my head beforehand, and I’m still somehow wrong, because apparently there was a taxi, a few in-the-moment drink purchases, and some Deliveroo order at 1am that I have absolutely no memory of…
2. Moodle, for any reason
Usually I open Moodle for one specific thing, and then see the little red notification badge and remember that there’s also a new reading list, a quiz I didn’t know existed, and a deadline that moved up a week without telling me. There probably hasn’t been a single day since term started that I haven’t been reminded of how big the jump from first year to second year is.
3. Opening LinkedIn in the middle of internship season
I only went on to accept a connection request, and now I’m reading about someone I once sat next to in a lecture being “thrilled to announce” a summer internship at a bank I’ve barely heard of. By the time I’ve scrolled past the fourth announcement I’ve forgotten that I was perfectly happy about my own summer about ten minutes ago.
4. The free evening
This one is strange, because on paper it should be the opposite of scary. An empty evening on the calendar! But I sit there on my bed and feel a low hum of dread, like I’ve forgotten a deadline that everyone else has remembered. At LSE, being busy has become so normal that an empty calendar starts to feel suspicious. I always end up looking for something to do, and then resenting myself for it.
5. “We should catch up!”
Okay, we both know this will not happen. We say it anyway, with a big smile as we walk off in opposite directions, and then feel mildly guilty every time we see each other’s Instagram story for the next four months. It’s a lie told with great warmth, which somehow makes it worse.
6. Opening a grade before you’re ready
This email always seems to arrive while you’re on the Tube, or in a queue, or mid-conversation. There is never a good time, and you cannot un-see the number. I’ve definitely put my phone face down and stared at a wall for a bit afterwards.
7. The Sunday screen time report
Every time it tells me my daily average is up 22 per cent, I swipe it away quickly as if it’s going to forget I saw it. I’m improving though, I swear…
Honourable mention: the Tube stopping between stations. It’s not LSE-specific, but I’m not going to pretend I’m not scared of it.
I don’t think any of these are actually that frightening, really. They’re just the small, constant things that make up a normal week here, and most of them pass. But at least a ghost would be a change of pace.
