Cliteracy Class 2: Keeping it fresh

Welcome one and all to a fresh new year of Cliteracy – your LSE source for judgement-free, no shame chat about what we’re all thinking about: sex. Avid readers of The Beaver (if you’re out there) may remember my witty introduction back in May, where I dipped my toes into the steamy waters of the LSE Sexual Relations Department. Well, young skywankers, that was only the beginning. This year you’ll get a dose every two weeks and I’ll have my work cut out with these freshwankers crawling around campus. So get ready to dive in. Cliteracy is back in session.

For our inaugural class, I’ll turn to our newest students for some valuable preparation for the test to come… Freshers’ Week. Moving to university it’s impossible to avoid receiving the inevitable comment: “Don’t get with anyone; it’ll be so embarrassing when classes start.” The reputation of Freshers as a melting pot of new-found liberation, excessive drinking, and clumsy encounters to later regret strikes a range of emotions from titillation to dread into all students. Being in a relationship as a fresher I was unsure of how to navigate these herds of horny people without being either tempted or perceived as a bore. What I wish I’d known is that your Freshers’ is exactly that. Yours.

This means that if you are out, feeling fit as fuck, and want to get freaky with the person making eyes at you across the dance floor… DO IT! Equally, if you want to skip the sweaty hoards, preferring good chat at the local… DO IT! To the judgers out there: grow some unisex balls, take your noses out of people’s business, and have the bravery to do what makes you happy. Do not let people’s judgement disempower you. A walk of shame only exists if you let it. You are a bad bitch, so stride out of that uni room at mid-morning with a mildly sexually satisfied expression (because… these are freshers: None of them
know how to have good sex – at least yet) and your head held high.

But wait, for all of us to live our best Fresher’s weeks we have to respect everyone’s right to do the same. Just follow some simple rules:

  1. Consent is everything – it’s not fun if only some people are having fun.
  2. Being clear with your intentions is sexy, using people is not – Do not drag people
    along, it’s cruel and makes you a dick.
  3. You’re a boss adult, own your decisions. The truth is that most cheeky encounters at
    Fresher’s will not lead to a long-term love affair. So, if you’re going in for the goal be
    fully aware of what you are and are not signing up for.
  4. Do not judge or shame – just because someone lives their best life in a different way
    to you does not mean it is less awesome.

But wait – this wouldn’t be a class without homework. Check out this super important consent resource. We all think we know what consent is but there’s never a bad time for a refresh.

Now go out my cliterate students and have fun while being respectful as hell. This is a sex-positive column, but it is first and foremost a place for shame-smashing and empowerment, so you do you boo!


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