By Jessica-May Cox
pretty, lěng bái pí
is that all that you see?
red stands out on a white background
do you know how hard it is for me?
skin fairer than paper, cursed
by a blue eyed devil
i struggle with slanted eyes
but in the mirror i see: lǎowài
and my tongue gets tied,
“nǐ chīfànle ma?” you don’t understand
lost in pitch, i really tried
as a white man, i’ll never fly
but i bleed red!
just like you, like the flag
of our beloved motherland
i know i’ll always be half-bred
there is something in the way
between us, a wànlǐ chángchéng
i crawl along, two thousand miles
both sides, i have betrayed
when you look at me,
i hear what you think
a glimpse through your eyes.
i have no mandate to choose
i don’t know who i am,
where do i belong?
of one thing, i am sure
i’ll never be like you
i don’t belong anywhere
so i cut myself bare
oh, pretty lěng bái pí,
do you know how hard it is for me?
lěng bái pí = cold white skin
lǎowài = foreigner
nǐ chīfànle ma? = have you eaten?
wànlǐ chángchéng = great wall
Illustrated by Francesca Corno
