The Beaver reports: S.E.X and the City

As living costs skyrocket in London, LSE students are hard pressed to sustain lifestyle habits previous generations took for granted.

Whereas students previously could afford gimp leather suits and latex puppy gear out of their student loans, the rising cost of accommodation and inflation has driven many students to take out overdrafts in order to buy fist gloves and speculum sets.

“It’s dire,” Max Fucke, a student at LSE, tells the Beaver. “I’m a quant by day and a pup by night, but seeing my kennel decimated by the changing landscape of the city is horrific. The pup community is howling for support.”

Pup-paws and doggy masks have become prohibitively expensive for students, as the community is increasingly populated by older ‘rottweilers’: richer men who use doggie treats to dominate and subdue younger pups.

Peter Slopp, a general course student, is worried too: “I’m in appalling debt; I take out loan after loan and it still isn’t enough.” Slopp is one of many students who participate in findom. These ‘pay-cucks’, cis-men or occasionally women, pay their mistresses/masters for sexual thrill.

“Mistress is hurting right now,” Slopp continues, “She’s used to a certain lifestyle, and Mommy’s little pay-pig can’t make ends meet – I’m running out of options.”

LSE management has addressed the growing concerns of pups and paypigs in releasing the following statement: “We recognise that students are under strain from financial uncertainty and living costs. We urge that those looking to be financially degraded and socially humiliated consider visiting the LSE shop, where they can buy LSE themed cufflinks or crystal school logos. LSE Dad and Mum T-shirts are viable alternatives for any sub/dom arrangement.”

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