by Anna Berkowitz
Gift-giving can be difficult for a brain that’s been sucked empty of creative juice by relentless essay deadlines. But, if you run into these six oddly specific situations this holiday season, the Social team has you covered with gifts that are tailored to that special person in your life.
For your communist friend who is applying for a job at Santander:
Could I recommend a Karl Marx piggy bank, available for less than £15 on Amazon; a juxtaposition you know they will dig! You can help them advertise how much they want to start a revolution: “I’m changing the system from the inside out!”
For the girl who is in the friend group, but you don’t like:
Sometimes there’s just no getting around it. Even though you really can’t stand her, a present is nonetheless expected. Don’t wanna spend the time to come up with a gift idea? Don’t want to spend time on a personal gift? Well you can’t go wrong with an edgy and very niche tote bag. Basic bitches can’t resist! Bonus point if it’s from a bookshop.
For your crush who is dating someone else:
This is a delicate one. You need something to perfectly convey that you notice what they’re into, but in a casual cool-girl way. I would recommend some Etsy-esque merch, based on their favourite (probably indie) film. What? That sounds more oddly specific than the rest? No it doesn’t! I am definitely not speaking from experience…
Secret Santa gift for the person who is in your study group that you don’t know that well:
Don’t you hate it when you’re struggling buying a gift for someone who you only know from their opinions on the module you’re both in? For them, I would say socks. They come in so many varieties, just pick one pair and go with it. No-brainer!
For your friend who seems stressed all the time but does less work than you:
If they’re “like, so busy,” but you’ve never seen them sit down and do any sort of work in your life, I would recommend a colouring book. A gift that passive aggressively says “you have too much time on your hands” disguised as “here’s something that’s gonna help you destress!”
For your rugby friend who identifies as a feminist:
For him, I recommend Feminism is for Everybody, by bell hooks. Nothing would help this boy more than some foundational intersectional feminist texts that discuss how important it is for men to be involved in the liberation of women!
So good luck! Go forth to Oxford Street and please don’t buy anyone an Amazon gift card.