MSc Financial Astrology Launching in 2020

One of the most common criticisms levelled at the economics profession is the failure to predict the financial crisis of 2008. Indeed, it was this very issue that was raised by the Queen during her now (in)famous visit to the LSE in the aftermath of ’08. 

It appears that lack of foresight with respect to economic performance may soon be a thing of the past, however, as LSE announced plans for a new MSc programme designed to train students in the techniques of astrological forecasting. 

The Financial Astrology MSc will see the introduction of cutting-edge tools and techniques, with the aim of harnessing cosmic energy to predict and prevent unwanted downturns. Up to 130 brand new Bloomberg Crystals are reportedly being brought in as part of the updates. 

Despite its reputation for being a collection of hocus-pocus new age nonsense masquerading as scientific practice, finance is an integral part of the economy at both the national and international level. It is hoped that this new interdisciplinary approach will bring a much-needed credibility boost to the university’s syllabus. 

“We have really tried to take on board the concerns and criticisms of our teaching, research, and overall vibe,” said a representative from the finance department. “Under increasing public scrutiny, we have taken the decision to get ahead of the curve and take our subject to the next level of excellence with some really exciting new energy,” she added, before throwing up peace signs and skateboarding away from our reporter. 

On the topic of predictions, it has been widely reported in recent weeks that LSE’s very own Dame Minouche Shafik is tipped for the top job at the Bank of England, as current governor Mark Carney’s term draws to a close. This puts Minouche in the running for the ‘Most Relatable Director Ever’ award, having come to LSE only to end up working in a bank.


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