by Mahnoor Murad Khan
Starting a new life in a new place is never easy. Still, moving to London as a first-year international student amidst Covid restrictions felt like an extra intensive episode of The Amazing Race with no tremendous cash prize waiting for me on the other side. In the week leading up to my move to London – at breakneck speed – I attempted to feel out a transition that was new and uncomfortable, but exciting nonetheless.
Monday
I wake up drenched in sweat, only to realise that my last week in Pakistan has started with possibly the longest power outage in years. My mind immediately goes to the 10am class where I’m the only online attendee gawking into a room of muffled voices, and I conclude that this loss of connectivity is for the best.
Tuesday
I decide to head to a local coffee shop to focus on my piled-up readings. This place has a terraced floor that very few frequent, and so I find myself utterly alone. The view is mediocre at best, but pulls me into an uneasy nostalgia for a home I haven’t even left yet. I spend a few minutes tracing a map of the places I hold memories of: the park in the distance where I fell off a slide and almost broke a leg, the winding streets my best friend and I always got lost in after bunking school. My Main Character Moment is unfortunately interrupted by the waiter who arrives with the bill in hand and a puzzled look on their face.
Wednesday
How are you supposed to react when your stomach inadvertently growls, making Zoom amplify your face on the screen in front of people you have never even met? Muting myself will only attract more attention, I calculate internally. It’s better to just pretend like nothing happened.
Thursday
The larger part of the week has passed, but simultaneously I feel stuck in a loop where nothing seems to be progressing. I start to grow worried about the state of my visa, not knowing when it will arrive. Constantly refreshing my email has become muscle memory. In the meantime, I finally get round to packing my essentials, including my beloved heart-shaped ice tray and my Bon Iver poster that instantly gives me comfort. Of course, bedding, toiletries, and cutlery eventually make it into the suitcase too.
Friday
My visa finally arrives!!! A truly momentous occasion for the average Third World citizen! It makes everything suddenly tangible in a way it wasn’t before. Am I really leaving? Am I ready to? I feel like an excited five-year-old. London is kind of intimidating. But it’s ok, Mahnoor – you can do this! You’re going to be fine.
Saturday
My friends plan a lighthearted day for me at an arcade which melts away all the stress that had accumulated in my chest. I feel human again. My best friend gives me a mesmerising hardback edition of Pride and Prejudice. We hold each other and cry. I fall asleep feeling content and pumped for a new future in a brand new city.
Sunday
The air feels crisp as winter falls in Lahore, and I’m finally prepared for my departure. I’m fully packed and have caught up with the week’s work. At the airport, my mom tells me to be safe, and I make one last awful joke before she slaps me on the head and kisses me goodbye. Now off we go! See you on the other side!
The image above is sourced from: https://www.lse.ac.uk/News/Latest-news-from-LSE/2019/03-Mar-19/LSE-unveils-new-sculpture-by-Mark-Wallinger
